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Trigger warning: posts about rape and other cases of not treating fellow human beings as fellow human beings.
Some tags: healthcare ableism abortion birth control body-shaming classism crime feminism homophobia identity-policing misogyny racism rape sexism sexual assault slut-shaming transphobia victim-blaming violence
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Personal blog: introspectivestardust
“Radical feminist” transphobia: a patriarchal ideology
Source:http://vaguelyhumanoid.wordpress.com/2011/01/18/radical-feminist-transphobia-a-patriarchal-ideology/
Certain self-proclaimed “radical feminists” are intensely transphobic. A classic example would be Janice Raymond’s The Transsexual Empire, perhaps the bible of “radical feminist” transphobia. A more recent example would be the blog femonade, and its many essays on the exploitative and sexist “ideology” of “transgenderism”:
http://factcheckme.wordpress.com/2009/11/09/sorry-sex-pos-transwomen/
http://factcheckme.wordpress.com/2010/01/23/the-neo-vagina-monologues/
http://factcheckme.wordpress.com/2010/07/23/vagina-as-fuckhole-hurts-men-too/
Here’s the dirty little secret of this ideology: anti-transgender “radical feminists” come from the exact same place as patriarchal misogynists. I have five reasons why:
1. Anti-trans “radical feminists” blame the victim. Just like women in general are blamed for being raped by misogynist scumbags everywhere, transwomen are blamed for being oppressed by a society with essentialist binary notions of gender identity.
2. Anti-trans “radical feminists” see some identities as superior to others. Just like how patriarchy is based around the idea of men as superior to women, transwoman-bashing is based around the idea of the born woman identity as superior to the transwoman identity.
3. Anti-trans “radical feminists” see gender as based on biological sex. Just as patriarchs proscribe gender roles based on one’s genitalia, “radical feminists” who hate transwoman proscribe gender identities based on one’s genitalia.
4.Anti-trans “radical feminists” fear the other. Just as privileged males fear women as alien and fickle, “radical feminist” transphobes fear that transwomen are male predators.
5. Anti-trans “radical feminists” deny privilege. Not even in the way most people under patriarchy deny privilege, but rather in the way that anti-feminist masculists deny privilege. “Radical feminists” who hate transwomen and see them as privileged exploiters are like masculists who claim we live in some kind of PC feminist dystopia where men are oppressed by women. In a world were transwomen are beaten, raped and killed for their gender identity, claims of trans privilege and exploitation of cis women by transwomen are a sick, sick joke.“Radical feminist” transbashing even involves double standards, just like patriarchy:
http://factcheckme.wordpress.com/2010/08/29/is-eminem-a-transwoman/
If there’s one thing that should leap out at you, besides the disgusting hatred towards transwomen, it’s that the quote she’s attacking as glorifying misogynist abuse is actually a statement protesting patriarchy. How much you wanna bet she’d applaud the very same quote coming from a ciswomen?
Between this and the support amongst some “radical” feminists for using the violence of the state to ban pornography and prostitution, some “radical feminists” end up a lot closer to fundies then they’d think:
(Source: transqueery)
42 notes (via transqueery)
More Thoughts On Trans Dating
The idea that trans women are being “deceptive” if we fail to disclose our transness to potential partners is probably the single most dangerous single piece of bigotry against us. Because the unspoken corollary is that anyone we interact with is morally entitled to use violence against us if we don’t disclose fast enough to suit their prejudice.
When it comes to dating, trans people are the one exception to the rule that people are responsible for their own preferences. Society does not require people with medical conditions to hand over their medical records on the first date. It does not accuse women of fraud for putting on makeup or wearing padded bras or having cosmetic surgery. It does not demand that prejudices in general be preemptively catered to.
Unless you’re a trans woman.
Dear strangers: Your bigoted assumptions are not my problem.
133 notes (via amydentata & freedominwickedness)
How to Correct People’s Pronoun and Name Slip-Ups
One of the most important life lessons that everyone needs to learn is that you can’t control other people, you can only control your reactions to them. This can be immensely frustrating when you encounter a situation in which someone is using the wrong pronouns or name for you, be it a close family member or friend, an acquaintance, or a complete stranger. This lack of control over other people’s behavior can be tough, particularly if you’re in a situation in which you’re stealth and a particularly forgetful or disrespectful person seems determined to out you. However, recall that you can control how you respond to people and keep these tips in mind:
1. The people around you who always get your pronouns/name right are your greatest allies. Not only can they less awkwardly correct the person who is slipping up, but they can demonstrate your correct pronouns/name so that other people fall in line. Conformity is generally the rule for group interactions, and if most people are calling you “he” or your correct name, other people will *usually* follow suit.
2. If someone is messing up on pronouns and they aren’t a complete stranger, take them aside when you get the chance and let them know what pronouns you prefer. It’s best not to correct people in front of others, or to do it right in the middle of a conversation. Keep your tone casual and say something like, “Hey, I don’t know if you heard, but I actually go by ___/X pronouns. Just so you know for future reference” or “I’ve noticed you’ve been calling me ___/Y pronouns, I really prefer ___/X pronouns.” Try not to sound accusatory or angry, even if you are (if you can help it). You catch more flies with honey than vinegar, after all.
3. If a complete stranger that you probably won’t encounter again is messing up on your pronouns, try to gauge the situation before saying anything. Did anyone else notice? Was the person really referring to you? It’s easy to get touchy about these things, and I’ve actually thought someone was calling me “ma’am” when they really said “man”. Assume the best because most cisgender people assume the best, it’s only when you’re used to people messing up that you would really pay attention to these details. If no one noticed, it’s best to let it go. If you think other people noticed, though, or you feel you need to say something, it’s best to make it into a joke. “Did you think I was a girl? Yeah, I get that a lot, I clearly need to cut my hair!” Something like that.
4. To get the message out and avoid people from your past calling you your old name or the wrong pronouns, consider posting a note on facebook or sending out a mass email explaining your name and pronouns preferences and how important they are to you. I did this, and I still have people from High School who accidentally call me my old name when they run into me (and, actually, recently had someone from HS who called me “Zak” and “she” to my mother…quite interesting). Luckily, though, they are in the minority, and usually correct themselves. If you notice a lot of people in your life slipping up on your name and pronouns despite the fact that you’ve explained everything to them, you might want to send out another mass email, letter, or some other form of written communication that:
1) acknowledges the difficulty of changing their ways or remembering, 2) reiterates your pronoun and name preference, 3) explains the reasons why it is hurtful, dangerous, or otherwise when they mess up on pronouns (because they could out you and you’re stealth, etc), and 4) expresses your appreciation that they have been trying (even if it doesn’t seem like they have been).
5. If people just don’t seem to be able to get it, send them some reading material. Here’s a great article geared toward cispeople about the importance of using a person’s preferred pronouns, and another on Trans* Etiquette for Non-Trans* People by Matt Kailey that could also be helpful.
It’s important to know the difference between someone who is messing up on pronouns because they don’t care or don’t regard your transition or identity as legitimate and someone who just can’t seem to remember but is genuinely trying. For the first few months, you should give the people in the latter group a break and give them some time to start getting things right. For the people in the former group, time may or may not help. Time, mixed with several reminders and possibly several different people correcting them, is probably more likely to help.
Don’t underestimate the power of a well-worded letter or article explaining why it’s important to you for people to get it right. Especially if you’re young or just starting your transition, some people may not take it seriously or want to expend the effort to change their behavior. You can’t control this, but you can give them information that can help them see why it’s upsetting or damaging your relationship with them because of their failure to respect your identity.
In the end, you may do and say everything right and still have a few people who keep screwing up. This isn’t your fault, and unfortunately there’s not a whole lot you can do about it. Just remember that whoever keeps messing up will feel quite awkward or silly persisting in calling you “she” when everyone else is calling you “he”…particularly if one day you have a beard.
164 notes (via artoftransliness)
How To Be A Victim…
As a black person, if someone kills you, you better had been a perfect student, or been nice to all your co-workers, and been obedient in every way possible, you had better not fought for your life, or stolen anything, or had children out of wedlock, or been on welfare, or been a gang member, or drug dealer. You had better not been wearing a hoodie, or Nikes, or baggy pants. If you can, please put on a suit before you get killed. You had better not have braids, if you plan on getting killed. You had better not had gotten into a fight recently. Because having had done those things means that you were worth shit. That you deserved to die. Please try to keep that in mind.
& If you plan on getting raped, you better be white. & if you can’t manage that. You better ask your rapist to be stranger, someone who you weren’t in a relationship with, or out on a date with, or someone who you had sex with before. And you better not be a sex worker. Because sex workers cant be raped. Just so you know. You better be wearing long black clothes, be married, and be from a wealthy family. Make sure you are a virgin too. It would help also, if you were light skinned. if you had long hair. if you were thin. Dark skin marks you as a ho. As hypersexual. As undeserving of protection, autonomy, and bodily protection. Your rape doesn’t count. It would be good if you would keep this in mind.
& if your boyfriend beats you up. And you’re a black woman. You better have a reputation as a nice, quiet, docile woman. Because surely no one will care, if you talk back to your man, or if you stand up for yourself, or if you’re seen as a loud mouth ghetto bitch. if you plan on being in a violent relationship, make sure you’re educated and that you come from a two parent household. & make sure that this is the first time he’s ever hit you. You can’t forgive him & expect people to care when it happens again. This is a fact.
in short, if you want people to care about you or your life… you better NOT be black. or you better not act black. or you better not look black. you should be able to manage at least one of these. The thing is, when you’re a black person you never get the luxury of being innocent, of being a victim. You are already guilty. Your skin colors says so.
983 notes (via happyandshit & hiphopcheerleader)
One of the most recognized HIV/AIDS posters ever produced, this image of a child with outstretched arms accompanied by the message, “I have AIDS, please hug me, I can’t make you sick,” has become a worldwide icon in the fight against HIV/AIDS discrimination. Inspired by the experience of Ryan White, a 13-year old hemophiliac with AIDS who was barred from school in 1985 and became a symbol of the intolerance that is inflicted on AIDS victims, this reproduction of a child’s drawing has a disarming quality that works closely with the textual message. This poster reflected the changed tone of the media coverage of AIDS following Ryan White’s courageous battle, which helped shift focus from ignorance and discrimination to acceptance and newfound knowledge of the fatal disease. Designed to evoke compassion, the simple yet powerful message in the poster has subsequently inspired a variety of spin-offs used by international AIDS awareness and education programs.
It reminds me of the “bike to work” movement. That is also portrayed as white, but in my city more than half of the people on bike are not white. I was once talking to a white activist who was photographing “bike commuters” and had only pictures of white people with the occasional “black professional” I asked her why she didn’t photograph the delivery people, construction workers etc. … ie. the black and Hispanic and Asian people… and she mumbled something about trying to “improve the image of biking” then admitted that she didn’t really see them as part of the “green movement” since they “probably have no choice” –
I was so mad I wanted to quit working on the project she and I were collaborating on.
So, in the same way when people in a poor neighborhood grow food in their yards … it’s just being poor– but when white people do it they are saving the earth or something.
”4,140 notes (via mhoffbauer & ouiominy)
I think I’m going to delete this blog. Anything I would’ve posted here will now be posted at my personal blog.
This is a European campaign, so perhaps the situation is different there. But in the US, de-pathologization of transgender people would actually be very harmful to some of them. Currently, being transgender is listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM-IV-TR) as Gender Identity Disorder (GID).
In many cases, in order for a transgender person to receive hormone therapy or undergo surgery they NEED the diagnosis of GID. A psychologist/counselor has to evaluate them and give an actual diagnosis so that it can be considered that the hormones and surgeries are treating something. If insurance companies are involved, a diagnosis is absolutely necessary or no payment will be made. Insurance companies don’t pay for treatments unless the treatments are for an officially diagnosed disorder.
The situation is not ideal. The power of insurance companies and the medical model of mental health has us trapped in a situation where everything must be pathologized if it is to be treated. If I ever work with a transgender person in my career as a counselor, I will discuss the benefits and disadvantages of having an official diagnosis of GID. And if it’s necessary for their transition, then we can discuss using the diagnosis as a tool to achieve their goals. I’m not saying I agree with the diagnosis. I’m just saying that with the way things are now, a lot of counselors have no choice but to use the diagnosis so their clients can transition.
(Source: graydayson)
6,900 notes (via geekcounselor & graydayson)
![mermaid-slut-queen:
[Trigger Warning: Rape]
I need feminism because my rapist doesn’t think he did anything wrong.](http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2le5gESK71r70nzso1_1280.jpg)
[Trigger Warning: Rape]
I need feminism because my rapist doesn’t think he did anything wrong.
69 notes (via geekcounselor & mermaid-slut-queen)
Although ambiguous genitalia pose no physical health risk, the birth of a child with ambiguous genitalia is deemed by medical experts to be a “social emergency” requiring immediate medical attention (American Association of Pediatrics [AAP] Policy, 2000). As a practical matter, it is much easier to construct an artificial vagina than an artificial penis. Because of this, it remains standard practice within the medical profession to perform a sex change operation on children with unusually small penises and other “under-masculinized” traits, even if the chromosomes fit the XY classification as male. XX babies with enlarged clitorises, on the other hand, are not converted into “boys” but undergo surgery to either remove or alter the clitoris to conform to medical expectations for girls.
”— Regulating Middlesex by Anne Bloom, found in the anthology Fault Lines, edited by David M. Engel and Michael McCann (via reinventionoftheprintingpress
)
(Source: books.google.com)
trigger warning: rape, victim-blaming
In Sacramento, a county judge has taken “victim-blaming” to a whole new level, ordering that a rape victim be jailed while awaiting the trial of her rapist.
The 17-year-old had failed to appear for two previous court dates to testify against Frank William Rackley, 37, who is accused of abducting and raping her and is believed to be a serial rapist. Judge Lawrence Brown claimed to be “terribly sorry” about the position the young woman is in, but his sympathy didn’t stop him from ordering that she remain in a juvenile detention center until April 23, Rackley’s next trial date.
Rape trials are notoriously traumatic for victims; frequently, the attempts to discredit a rape victim’s credibility and character leads her to feel that she is actually the one on trial. Victims’ fear of further violations they will receive at the hands of the justice system—from inappropriate and irrelevant questions about their sexual histories to accusations that they are simply lying—is undoubtedly one of the many reasons why rape is already one of the most underreported crimes, with only 46 percent reported to police and only a small fraction of those ultimately going to trial. And it is highly likely that fear is precisely what prevented this young victim from showing up for two previous court dates. But rather than striving to create an environment in which she could testify comfortably and safely, Judge Brown decided to take punitive action against her instead.
An effective way to make women to continue afraid to report rape and testify against their abusers.
So, you’re going to imprison her & increase her risk of being re-assaulted & add to her trauma just in case a jury actually convicts even though you’ve just handed his lawyers a perfect way to refute her testimony by saying it was coerced & thus untrustworthy and that’s before we get into the incredibly low conviction rates for rape even without the way she’s been treated…I need to go outside. BECAUSE THIS IS WHY WE DON’T REPORT IT! The system will hurt a victim just as much (if not more) as the assailant.
Disgusting. This is why women have to treat men like every one is a potential rapist. Because a patriarchal justice system puts US on trial for being victims, and is willing to imprison us in the name of “justice.” Ugh. -Jess
This is injustice.
1,541 notes (via sinshine & sparkamovement)
Stop Street Harassment: Holly Kearl (via completelymoribund)
The thing that so many men need to understand is that women do not consider it a compliment when they are being harassed on the street. Women usually feel either embarrassed or terrified or a combination of the two. So stop fucking doing it.
(via sexytypewriter)
it’s so telling that men tend to do this when they’re in a group of other men. and i’ve never had it happen when i’m hanging out with dudes, especially not when i’m with my ginormous dad (most men don’t give a fuck about harassing me if i’m with my mom who is as small as i am). so if it isn’t sexual, or threatening, and you just want to ~make me smile~ then why can you only do it when i’m perceived as vulnerable?
(via hyper—ballad)
I would add that it rarely happens or when I am around men who know that I am dating someone at that time. Many men (certainly not all) are willing to lay off if they perceive that you are “owned” - otherwise, you’re public property, and they’re free to treat you however they like. Any competition that erupts is less to flatter the woman than to establish temporary rights to her, even if they must degrade her to do so.
(via desliz)
that or the nature of the so-called compliments will change if youre w a man. they will go from a respectful “you look beautiful this evening, ma’am” when youre w a dude to some vulgar shit about your pussy, if youre alone. because youre not worthy of respect as just a woman.
(via baddominicana)
So much yes to everything. The only time guys won’t try to approach me is when I’m with a male companion, but even then, I’ve gotten stares and looks that made me uncomfortable. It shouldn’t matter whether I’m alone, with my guy friends, or with my boyfriend; I don’t want your attention, so fuck the hell off and don’t talk to me. I shouldn’t have to carry pepper spray with me at all times and constantly check my surroundings just in case something bad happens.
(via susurrations)
74 notes (via staceyjeanmachine & threefeetdeep)
I need feminism because on my campus a dorm for two men listed “no feminists allowed” as a rule of their roommate agreement, which had to be approved by another man, their RA. They then put the rule on their door and it was never asked to be removed.
63 notes (via whoneedsfeminism)
